Depression: Psychiatry. a condition of general emotional dejection and withdrawal;sadness greater and more prolonged than that warranted by any objective reason.
Many days I feel a heavy weight that can and will never be lifted. This blackened weight cannot be measured in ways of pounds or ounces. it pushes a sigh from my being. It demands my energy, to feed it.
I remember many days where I feel relief, my heart is lightened, fluttering and optimism fills me with hope.
Why can't it leave me alone.
The pills I took and forced down my throat relieve it but left me feeling like hollow empty shell of myself. I feel nauseated, lack of appetite and just wanting to escape this conscious world.
Sleep is always my friend in the end. The dreams I have are unbelievably out of this world, into another dimension!
I'e met a blue haired fairy, I met a creature who looked a pretty as a siren and ate diamonds as daily nutrition, I met Frankenstein and his wife and help released their trapped souls from a jar of ooze, I played baseball with Pokemon creatures, I've more variety of aliens than I could imagine when I awake!
I taste things, I smell everything and feel much more when I am not conscious in this world.
It's an adventure and challenge to find the simple things of beauty in this reality, to bring me back to earth. This body, this soul and this mind, are here on earth ... the weight from this world is a heavy one.
Been hibernating and sleeping so long.
Acutally just working, studying and being lazy some days. >.<
I feel like I have a good job now and a decent income. I can afford some brand now and will slowly create an awesome wardrobe. Mwhaha!
ACEN! It has come and gone, so fast. I only went Friday due to work and Sunday I feel like everyone was already tired so I went to Mitsuwa but I got there late, at around 6:30pm. A few food stands were already closed and Gabutto burger ran out of meat. I just got strawberry Bubble Tea and some pastries. So healthy!
I am eating healthy and exercising, I have a few days where I fall off the wagon and just play some video games for a few hours and snack.
I am excited to have some free time now, I am working on some accessories for my swap meet and for myself. I am seeing friends I haven't hung out with. Along with being more active in the Lolita Community and hosting some future events.
I have some wonderful ideas..... kite flying & picnic, Chicago Botanical Garden, Strawberry Festival, etc, etc.
PICTURES TO COME TONIGHT. :)
HOLIDAY SWAP MEET WAS A SUCCESS!
Despite a few incidents it was fun.
There's always so much stress that goes into these things and money as well. But I am glad that everyone came and enjoyed it, girls came even from Milwaukee to enjoy my meet-up and makes me more grateful. I would like to thank everyone who brought food that made things 1000x's better and give out a few personal thanks.
I did a quick video of the basement Swap Meet and girls shopping. :)
Ahh, Halloween came and went too fast.
Nocturna was awesome! I went as Little Red Riding Hood wearing Lolita and a bloody face with red contacts to give a brothers grimm theme. Picture will come soon because it was an awesome costume. :D
I got to compete in the costume contest, it was fun! The couple from married with children won, they were hilarious.
The next day......
I went to Birthday Massacre concert last minute and I drove another friend of mine (he doesn't want me saying his name due to wanting to be off the grid & doesn't want people knowing his life) and we got there the last hour of the concert. So we missed Aesthetic Perfection and William Control... :(
I enjoyed myself at least I saw alot of old friends and new friends. It was awesome. I got to talk to Vanessa for hours about Lolita-Our old job together- etc. I miss hanging with her.
I was super to excited to meet another NEW Lolita girl who has never gone to a meet-up, she says she more of a cosplayer but she loves Lolita style an wants to see the Chicago Lolita scene.
Some Lolita Holiday Costume Ideas:
Witch. Even though it's been done to death! You can put a twist on your outfit, a small hat, or a large hat. Theme it with colors or make a theme.. example The Witch of Candy, The Witch of Cats, etc.
http://www.etsy.com/shop/hatandmouse?ref=si_shop --- she has some cute hats for sale.
Doll. Another one that's been done to death. Heck, Lolita is based on dolls. But there are different variation of "dolls". You can go creepy with an evil doll with a cracked face. Or based on the dolfie look you can draw joints on your joints. A skeleton doll. A crying doll.
..........Which brings me to the next "idea". I put it in quotes because it's not an idea it's more like one of the reasons why Lolita is the way it is.
Alice....... enough said.
Fairy. You can make a pair of small celofan fair wings, just check out these youtube videos. They're cheap and easy!
Princess. In my opinion, there's already an official Lolita category called Hime but jazz it up more! A bigger crown? Or you can base it on a Disney princess. Either way someone will still call it a costume. Am I right?
A Lolita Murderer. Based on the Guro idea, I just like the idea of a cute little girl killing for some treats or for fun.
HORNS. Since horns are very in and I see them in alot of people's coords, why not a demon Lolita. It can be the creepy cute based on Pastel Goth, using demon horns. An elegant demon. A dark gothic demon.
Or elegant "deer" or "faun/fawn" antlers, just slap a pair of antlers on and there you go.
More ideas will be coming soon, these are just the basic kind of popular ideas that I can think of.